He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
