please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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