i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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