I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
