The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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