He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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