; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
