She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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