Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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