Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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