I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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