OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
