Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
