I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Just pee around me
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
