I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
