I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
