are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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