I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
