I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
