FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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