His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
