my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
