you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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