i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
