highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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