Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
