I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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