It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
