So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
We're facebook friends in real life
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
