real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
