my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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