whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
