Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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