I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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