Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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