i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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