So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
