So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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