i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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