she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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