Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
She bit a glass in half.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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