Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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