it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
