Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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