after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We talked him into tasing himself.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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