So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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