ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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