The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
