Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
