do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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