He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
