you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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