he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
