Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
There's always time for handjobs
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize