About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
